The Fidelity Test

What do you give a man who gives you everything? You give him a ‘fidelity test’.

That is the latest gem of wisdom I have gleaned from a dear girlfriend who says the boyfriend is simply too good to be true. And since neither of us keeps a lie detector handy, a devious plan of dangling a sexy woman as bait was devised.

Most of us have been guilty of putting people through the smaller variants.

“He will call me tonight, if he really loves me”

“If she turns to look back, she’s falling for me”

“If he really cares, he won’t forget my birthday”

In desperate times you might even do a two out of three.

“Okay he didn’t call and he forgot my birthday, but there’s no way he’ll leave town without saying good-bye.”

Once, after a particularly non-emotional evening, I made my then best friend call my then boy friend and say I had not reached home, was not in college, not with any other friends and did he notice anything amiss when he met me earlier? He was suitably distraught and happy with his reaction, we went back to our Barbies, until he called back one hour later, after being out in the rain, looking for me. The ‘er-ing’ and ‘hemming’ on my part made the happenings of the evening rather transparent, at which point, in no uncertain terms he let me know that was the most immature way to test a man’s feelings. Any sense of ‘being loved’ I was feeling, quickly evaporated and I never dared to pull that stunt ever again, with anyone.

But I have never let that get in the way of helping my friends test their loved ones. What?? One can’t always find an out-of-body experience or near death experience to tickle one’s mind!!!

So here we were, bait placed successfully and rejected, I might add. My friend grabbed my hand in joy and said “You are a true friend!”

And just like that, the boyfriend and I, had both passed tests that we did not even know were being conducted.

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