All good things must end and today I said good-bye to one such good thing. So many warm nights spent together in nothing more than skin, so many sunny afternoons… and I still said good-bye. Through sickness and health. It was not just good but fabulous…while it lasted. Why then did I say good-bye? Time, cruel time, dulls even the best of things. Spreads a film of almost indescernible dust that no amount of care, no amount of polishing can rejuvenate. And then the best option is to let it go.
How proudly we had made our home together, nearly a decade ago, investing so much in it, forgetting that nothing lasts forever.
The signs had been there for a long time. Tiny cracks in the privacy of the bedroom. I pretended not to see them. Silences that became loud, complaining groans, spreading through the house. I pretended not to hear them. And then it just gave way. Coming apart at every joint. It hurt my son too. Splinters that he saw, but did not understand. However, children recover much more easily than old, tired parents don’t they?
It wasnt easy. And yet it wasn’t difficult. Fickle as we human beings are, I admit I had a replacement even before I actually changed anything. My heart and mind had already set themselves on something new, something dark and strong, something that made me feel on top of the world when I was on top. And even when I wasn’t.
I had changed, my needs had changed and now it was time to change things to meet my needs. So I said good-bye. It was old and familiar and sinking. And now I have something young and exciting and firm. And that is why I know I will sleep better tonite. Warm and unafraid of being let down on the floor.
Good-bye, my dear, sweet, old bed and mattress, welcome my beautiful, new, bedroom furniture.