I wasnt even a full grown adult when I was given the soundest advice I could ever use. He told me “You will not get everything you want out of every relationship, so see what is the best you can get out of that relationship and if that is good enough, compromise on the rest.”
This advice did not come from either of my parents or any of the other elders I constantly hovered around in the hope of photosynthesize-ing wisdom.
It came from a 19 year old boy who was bonking my best friend and hoping her 6 and 1/2 foot shippee father would not find out. My friend, following in the footsteps of her shippee father, had a boyfriend in every dorm (he of course had girlfriends). Also, she received a fairly generous allowance which she did not mind sharing with her boy friends. This sad fool was actually in love with her and this advice he gave me was in response to my question of why he waited around to be ‘the only one’ when the chances of that happening were slim.
Even then I knew that it would do me well to remember that advice.
Life reiterated that fact often enough. People fall short of our expectations. We fall short of their expectations. Sometimes there is a complete mismatch of expectations. To claim no expectations would be a lie, after all we are human. However, taking stock of what we have and what we are willing to compromise on can be an eye opener.
You may think you have most of what you want and find contentment in that. Or you may think there is still one important piece missing, in which case, hold on to hope.